Lessons Learnt

...This week, and in life generally.

- Don't leave your belongings where opportunists and light-fingered dickheads might be able to find and take them.

- Don't trust anyone, with anything.

- Try not to combine a habit of extreme clumsiness with 15 cups of punch and a pair of heels.

- If you like clear skin and a flat tummy, not eating 4 bars of chocolate a day might help.

- Your fake nails will turn the colour of any food you hold in your hands. Lime jelly for instance. It's not a good look and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

- Tea, despite the lack of wow factor taste-wise, is still the best drink in the world.

- Don't wear hold-ups to work in case a cheeky git with a camera follows you up the stairs.

- Don't wear white shoes to work unless you didn't like them white.

- Don't wear any item of clothing to work that you consider a valuable item.

- Don't vent your anger to anybody, for fear of upsetting or annoying them. Instead, bottle it up and laugh, and wait for it to develop into a tumor/mental breakdown.

- Don't eat your boyfriend's Haribo right before bed then expect a good night's sleep.