The eleventeen types of drunks

Over the past 3 years, I've encountered many varieties of the drunk and disorderly. Over the past week, I've noticed that most of my friends fall into at least one of the categories I've created since working at the pub. These are as follows; see if you recognise any of the characteristics in yourself!

So we have:

The honest drunk (Me, Jon, Dad)
Most likely to say:

- I've been dying to say this for ages...
- You know what I think about you, right...
- A load of swearing


The giggly drunk (Jess)
Most likely to say:

- I just spat. On the floor. I JUST SPAT, ON THE FLOOR!! HAHAHAHA!!

Beware of this kind of drunk, and they can very easily and dramatically turn into:

The emotional drunk (Jess, me)
Most likely to say:

- I feel so rubbish and empty, waaaahahahaa. He's such a pr*ck!! I hate him so much, aaaah why do I love him... I hate him!!


Then there's the...


Fun drunk (Fi, John)
Most likely to say:

- You know what we should do...?!
- I just found a knife!! Who wants their hair cut?!
- LOOK AT MY DOG!! LOOK WHAT SHE'S DOING! WHY'S SHE DOING THAT!!

The singing drunk (Me, Jess, Billy)
Most likely to say:

- LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!! LOOOVE, LOOOOVE, LOOOOVE!! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, DA DA DA DA, DADADADA, DADADA!!
- STAND UP BESIDE THE FIREPLACE!! TAKE THAT LOOK FROM OFF YOUR FACE!! OH MY GOD, A FIREPLACE SHOP!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!

The Incoherent drunk (Me, Burgess)
Most likely to say:

- Y'know what... sphhhsll... ff... nmm, love you.
- Can I have a.. peach, no apple.... no, the pear one... peach st heliers, the apple one...
- I bloody *burp*... I bloody... gghhhh... bloody love you.




It seems I can quite easily be any kind of drunk and get on an array of people's nerves if I set my mind to it. So here's to another Jagerbomb...
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